I miss him so much...

My grandfather passed away in early June of this year in my mother’s home. He lived to be 80 years old.  His name was Russell, but I had the privilege of calling him Grandpa. 

My grandfather had the sweetest smile.  His lips curled just right around the wisdom lines he wore so proudly.  He had the purest, most gentle ice blue eyes that literally took you into his soul.  His hair was grey and thinning but combed to absolute perfection with the same ten cent comb he carried in his pocket since the early eighties.  His skin was soft and freckled with sun spots and smelled of sweet country musk.  His hands were rugged from years of “good ole boy” work but still just as gentle as could be when cradling one of my sweet babies.  His body was skinny and frail as age and cancer often do to a person.  He was so handsome.  He carried himself with such pride.  I remember the stories he would tell and the way he lit up with joy when my grandmother’s name was whispered from his soft lips.  I learned so much from him about family, pride and most importantly God. 

My last day with him was spent making soup and slicing soft, sweet peaches into the perfect size for a man who had no energy to chew.  We talked about life carrying on without him and we talked about death.  I saw him cry for the first time on that day as he begged me to not let our family’s story fade away with him.  I remember him telling me this would be my last day with him and to remember him as he really was and not as a man with lung cancer. 

The day he passed I woke with a knot in my stomach.  I knew this was the day.  We all knew it.  At three twenty three in the afternoon on June 8^th I felt a subtle breeze as my grandpa took his last breath and left this place.  He will forever be the most amazing man I ever knew.

I miss him now more than I could ever put into words...  Sleep well Grandpa.  And give Grammy a kiss for me.